What happens at GROUP?
GROUP brings small groups of leaders together in-person to act as mirrors for each other. Together we recreate the pressure and uncertainty of real life leadership, but slow it down so we can see the impact we have on other people. This allows leaders to see the gap between intention and impact, and surface the relationship and power dynamics that are difficult to see from inside working life. Through this process, leaders get to practice leading differently in real-time and develop the human-to-human skills needed to guide themselves and others through times of disruption, change and complexity.
We know GROUP can be hard to imagine until you’re in the room. These fictional scenes are inspired by the kinds of moments that happen inside GROUP.
It’s later in the day.
You’ve been sitting with these people for hours now.
And there is one person you don’t like.
Every time he talks, you feel yourself getting irritated. He talks for too long. He seems very sure of himself. When someone else is speaking, he looks like he is waiting for his turn.
You notice yourself avoiding eye contact with him. A quiet rejection of his behavior.
At some point he says something and he catches an expression on your face.
“What was that?”
“What was what?”
“You made a face.”
Shit. Everyone is looking at you now.
You could say it was nothing.
Instead you say,
“I’m noticing that I’m having a hard time with you.”
Silence.
“What do you mean?”
You immediately regret saying it. You can feel yourself searching for a version that won’t make you sound like an asshole.
“I don’t know yet.”
He looks hurt. Now you really want to take it back.
Then he asks,
“Is there anything you can tell me?”
So you give it a shot.
“You are talking more than most and I'm frustrated that there is no room for anyone else.”
He is quiet.
Then someone else says,
“I experience that too.”
Someone across the circle says,
“I actually experience him as nervous.”
You see him soften and then he says
“yeah. I tend to talk more when I’m nervous.”
At that moment you see yourself in him. The only difference is that you go quiet when you feel insecure.
You had been reading his anxiety as arrogance. He had been reading your silence as judgment. Neither of you had the whole story.
This happens at work all the time.
We experience someone. We create stories about them. And then we start responding to the stories we create instead of the person.
We give them less information. Include them less. Trust them less. Work around them.
Imagine having the conversations that could change these relationships.
